let your heart see the colours all around you

The gear shift from Teacher-To-Party-Animal-To-Teacher is difficult but still fun, and the recovery the next day is surprisingly easier this time around than predicted. Helps without the alcohol of youth.

A midweek concert, a teacher channelling all her old rave energy and dance moves. You do wonder what students think you get up to once you leave campus. I distinctly recall a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon where he genuinely is so shocked to see a teacher at the shops because he thought they all lived in coffins once school finished. And yet, here is your teacher, absolutely busting out as much shuffling and cutting sick shapes to this deep music.

Do you know that what drives her is bone-rattling 808s, a chewy, edible bass line and the screeching whine of a pitch shifter that hits in the back of her skull? Did you know she closes her eyes when the music gets euphoric? Would you recognize this person?

And nothing makes you feel older than when students ask you “who’s that?” when you mention something that you like. What do you mean, you don’t know who the Chemical Brothers are? You mean, the godfathers of house? The elder statesmen of the EDM you claim to listen to all the time on the spotify playlist you spend precious study time curating, and then listening to in class instead of listening to me?

Sit down, and learn. Your teacher is about to teach a history lesson.

Phase 1 of a Chemicals concert. Believe the hype: Start With the Build.

They start with one of the all-time greatest opening buildups of all time: the vocals for Come With Us. [side note: the other greatest opening buildup of electronica is Smack my Bitch Up]. Drop into Go. Hit absolute hyperdrive of stimulation and feverish joy for what feels like forever. You want it to go forever. If your eye-candied visuals weren't enough, they'll bring out actual robots with Frickin Lasers for you.

Phase 2: Teach Everyone How to Hold Off On The Drop And Then Fucking Unleash

They can hold off of a drop for eight more bars than you ever expect and the formula never fails. One of my favourite moments was this drop that was at least 90 seconds in the making. Exquisite payoff.

Phase 3: Give Everyone A Legit Religious Experience, No Metaphor Required

God is a DJ - well, 2 DJs. The Private Psychedelic Reel has always contained this majesty for me, a swirling euphoria . It's religious ecstasy writ sonically. I can see easily where it comes from: I've had it so many times from pieces of music; in fact, my moment for this in St Paul's Cathedral is a story for another day. And what an easy decision it must've been for the visual designers to use religious iconography to accompany this trip.

The ending made me feel like I had my face peeled off and I'd been reborn. It's not enlightenment, but the visuals look fucking fantastic. Personally, it is a song that has accompanied me on many metaphorical come-downs and I could not have scripted a better finale than actual Revelation myself.

And then, the next day, I return back to school. I am in command of the formal exam room I have to supervise. I use my teachers voice to command them to Start Work Now. I stand at the back of the exam room and stretch out my lower back yet, and remind myself to take another Nurofen at lunch.